Much has been made about the different styles of breakfast you can have during camping.
Some talk about the “hot, fast” breakfast. Others, the “hearty” breakfast. Still others talk about the “on-the-go” breakfast. You can find a half a dozen other such breakfasts talked about amongst campers. Outdoor enthusiasts have muscular debates over the virtues of the propane stove, wood stove, griddle, Dutch oven, open campfire, and raw. (Oh, the guys that will preach about “raw.” You’d think it was their religion, or something.) Still others will make you feel like an imposter if you don’t dehydrate your own food.
The reality is that there are only two kinds of camping breakfasts: edible and inedible.
Bug and I were out in the mountains for a hammock camping trip and an overnight hike. Bug was responsible for dinner. And I must hand it to him. It was quite the feast. When I eased myself into my hammock that night, I had a little more center-weight, if you know what I mean.
We woke up early ready for a long-awaited hike up Mt. Sneed. First thing Bug asked was what I had planned for breakfast.
I like to keep Bug in suspense, so I told him it was a surprise. While I was stuffing my hammock back in my pack, he tried to peak a view.
By eight-thirty, Bug refused to go a step further until I delivered him his breakfast. I’ve learned that about Bug, he gets hangry pretty easily when we’re out hiking and camping. You’ve got to keep him well fed or he’ll ruin the whole experience.
As he sat there taking his breather, I tried to explain the virtues of a raw breakfast on the adventuring spirit. He didn’t seem to be in the mood for the lesson, but I persisted because sometimes timing is the most important part of outdoor education.
In the middle of my explanation of how your gut appreciates a good raw meal every once in awhile, he rudely interrupted me and accused me of not planning for breakfast. After I expressed the appropriate amount of umbrage (it’s always important to keep a ready store of umbrage with you on any outdoor adventure), I made it very clear that I had planned on the highly nutritious meal of quaking aspen sap and thistle stocks. If we were lucky enough to come across some wild berries, we ought to consider it providence.
I’ve never heard another human being spew a longer blue streak than Bug did then. I was rather impressed, actually. I didn’t know he had it in him.
On our hike off the mountain, I educated Bug on the reality that when you’re camping, the edible breakfast is the only breakfast.
I think I heard that blue streak echo off the hills for hours.